Day 16 of The Dominant’s Den: Supporting Your Little’s Language and Lingo

The Dominant's Den

Good Morning Friends,

Today we are diving into language and lingo. I’ve spoken at length on here about being in a bilingual relationship. I’ve discussed various names that Littles commonly use for items in their little space. But today we are going to look at the importance of having a supportive dominant and how that influences a little’s ability to regress and use “little speech”. Are you ready? Then, let’s dive in. 🙂

I. Getting Over the Shame of Babbling: 

Many littles often struggle with the fear of using baby babble. We feel shame for yearning to express ourselves in a manner that isn’t coherent. I know that I’ve experienced these same feelings too. Today, I babble often to the Captain, but how he handles himself is what makes me feel empowered and assured that what I’m doing is accepted and loved. I’ll explain. When I’m in little space, my mind is suspended to that of a young child. (I’m five! 🙂 ). Yes, I can use regular speech and many times I do. But other times, my thoughts are flowing in my mind, but the words coming out of my lips are a series of sounds and intonations that express my emotion without an actual word. If your little is using “little speech” that is non-verbal communication, what you’re actually witnessing is your submissive being vulnerable. They are opening up to you on a deeper level to fully express their inner child. Welcome their actions. Welcome their little speech.

When I’m babbling a mile-a-minute, the Captain likely cannot understand what I’m saying. Yet, he still keeps eye contact with me the entire time. He watches my facial expressions. Intellectually he cannot understand what is flowing through my mind, nor understand what “na na na na na na naaaa!” actually means. Nonetheless, he gives me a quiet nod of acceptance, and then gently prods me to explain further what I need from him. Notice how I said “explain further” instead of explain. This is important. If the Captain were to say: “I hear you. But I need you to explain to me what you want” this gives the assumption that I didn’t express myself, when in actuality I did. However, if you say to your Little, “I need you to further explain yourself to me, Little One, so that I can better help you”, then you’re acknowledging that their baby babble has already been expressed, heard, and welcomed.

II. It’s Okay to Be Silly: 

When we think of littles using baby babble, we often envision that they are snuggled up looking adorable and babbling away. But often times, when your little is using their little speech, they will be talking to YOU! Be prepared (and open) to babbling right along with them. By doing so, you are diving into the caregiver mindset. You are entering their little space and just being silly! Your little space should feel fun. It should feel light and authentic. It should feel 110% genuine to you as a couple. I know that society tells us from an early age to “use our words”, but little space is the opposite of those societal norms. Be silly. Be different! Make silly faces at your little. Get them to laugh. You play a very important role in supporting your little to feel authentic and open. They will want to know that you accept all of them: the good, the bad, and the silly!

III. Weaving “Little Speech” into Your Everyday Life: 

Isn’t it interesting how we begin to model our partners mannerisms the longer we spend time together? We pick up their little patterns of speech. We mimic their behavior. We adapt words and switch some out altogether to use the word that our partner enjoys, especially if it’s a word that we enjoy saying too. The Captain and I are no different. “Come snugs” he said to me just this morning as we savored a few more precious minutes before he had to head off to work. I snuggled up to him. Over the years, he and I have swapped out words and incorporated more little speech into our everyday jargon. Naps became “nappies” (which is hilarious because that means diaper in the U.K.). “Hungies” signals that we’re hungry. These days even the Captain will pat his stomach and mutter, “I’m hungie”. It always makes me grin. So, too, will you begin to adopt the language of your little. Over time, you’ll wonder why you ever called a sippy, a glass! (Hehe!)

But in all seriousness, I encourage you to enjoy the language that your little uses. Every little has their own playful pattern of speech. Enjoy the process of getting to know your Little. Tune into their mannerisms, and the tone they use when they say certain words. I think you’ll find yourself giggling and deeply admiring the way your Little One says certain things. When I pout and cross my arms saying, “no, thank you!” to the Captain, he can’t help but chuckle. I’m sure your submissive will have their own little words and style that you’ll find endearing. Give yourself permission to use their little speech. Go ahead and call a cup a sippy. Snuggle up under a blankie. Feed your submissive a snacky. Read them a picture book and get some quality snug-time in. 😉

IV. Daily Gentle Exercise: Play Around with Words: 

Language is such a beautiful part of existing. For as long as I can remember I’ve been fascinated with languages. I always saw learning new words as another way to connect with a person who couldn’t otherwise understand me. It’s like a challenge to conquer and enjoy. But I digress. Today I challenge you to play around with the commonly used words that you share with your little. Discover ways to make up your own “little speech” as a couple. Give special meaning to words that you use everyday. Give each other tender nicknames beyond your dominant and submissive names. Give your little tender commands in a way that uses their little speech. No doubt they will enjoy it greatly. Enjoy diving head first into the caregiver’s mindset. You can do this! I’m cheering you on. ❤

Alright my friends, that’s it from me for this post. I hope you all enjoyed it. If you did, hit that like button and let me know. Smash that follow button if you’re new around here, and I will see you back here for the next topic!

Much love,

~Kitten xx

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