Good Evening Friends,
Tonight’s act of kindness is to forgive someone in your life. You don’t necessarily have to reach out to them to give forgiveness. Forgive from your heart. The forgiveness that you give is to lift your heart and to mend the pain. Let the grudges go. Let the anger go and replace it all with inner peace. I pondered whether to record my thoughts unscripted for this post, or to type it out. But with my voice sounding gnarly and having a case of the sniffles, typing won. 🙂 So here I am.
The person I am forgiving in my heart, and tonight’s post, is about my ex-husband.
A while ago I wrote about “The Hardest Decision I’ve Ever Made”. Tonight, (and after taking many, many years to fully process this event in my life), I’ve reached a place of peace. Here are my thoughts on everything today. May this post inspire you to make peace and forgive someone in your life.
First off, hello. We haven’t spoken in nearly 12 years. Time flies, eh? I wanted to write this letter and pour it all out there that I forgive you for everything that happened between us back then. We were practically babies when we got married. We were far too young and infatuated with each other to make any kind of sound decision. Back then, you and I struggled hard to scrape two pennies together. I can see it now that we were under enormous pressure to “become adults” when truthfully, we didn’t know how.
We went from silly teenagers who would date and have naughty sex in my closet, to suddenly becoming parents together, a decision that changed our lives forever. Over the several years we were together, you and I made so many mistakes. I certainly own up to mine. I wasn’t the wife that you needed me to be. I’m sorry for that. But while we made many mistakes with each other, we also created two amazing blessings on this earth.
Which brings me to the purpose of this letter. I forgive you for the gnarly, agonizing custody battle that we went through. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.
At the time, I felt numb inside. I felt dead as everything played out for nearly a year. But you know what? I’m okay now. You’re okay now. Our angels are okay now. Where there was once pain, now there is peace. Where there was once a massive void, finally has healed.
We were both so intensely focused on clinging hold to what we wanted, that it created this massive devastation, and while I felt damned and hated by everyone in that tiny, Southern town… I look back at the decision I made, and I look at where we all are today, and I give thanks. I am thankful because we are all in a good place now. I am thankful that our angels are thriving. Yes, I said ours, because even though they are not with me doesn’t mean that I still don’t claim them in my heart. ❤
So I forgive you. I forgive you for the anxiety that you caused me to live with for a decade. I forgive you for the pain I felt for years. I forgive you for the countless tears I shed each year on their birthdays. I forgive you for the names you hurled at me over and over again. I forgive it all.
I’m a better person because of the pain that I walked through and survived. May we all move forward in peace and be more kind to those around us.