Pump the Brakes, Boo! [April Humor Month True Stories, Day 2]

Good Evening Friends!

I’m back with another silly story from my adventures online. This story happened years ago, but I will never forget the night where I absolutely couldn’t do an E.R.P. session. I’ll explain. For those new to my blog, welcome! I’m Kitten, a happy adult Little who is married to my Daddy, (whom I also call the Captain), and I talk about our lifestyle and all the crazy adventures in between. For the past 13+ years I have been an online roleplayer, which means that I have met some very interesting people online and experienced some wacky moments too. As it is National Humor Month, I’m bringing you some juicy, X-rated true stories from my experiences as an online roleplayer.

For those unfamiliar to online roleplaying, or more specifically erotic role play, let me give you a basic definition. Do you remember “sexting” (or sexy texting)? ERP is like that… but on the next level. You have an online character and you’re typing back and forth with another person/s online to create a delicious, erotic scene. It’s like writing erotica with another person in real time. What makes ERP so fun and enticing is that people usually incorporate their wildest fantasies in these virtual worlds. Obviously you don’t look like your online character, and likely you don’t have massive boobs or a giant penis as you portray online. But in a virtual world anything goes, so you can imagine and create fantasies to your heart’s content.

On the MMORPG, World of Warcraft, I had a character for years who was quite active in the roleplay scene. Like any veteran roleplayer there were people whom I connected with daily and we would occasionally engage in erotic scenes as well. One night I was with a good male friend of mine roleplaying away. He was a blood elf hunter with a pet lion, and I was a sexy blood elf priestess. (Just for reference). 🙂 All was going well. Everyone was enjoying their time and the scene was moving along nicely.

Things began to “heat up” and naturally because I was enjoying myself, I was open to the idea of ERPing with this person. Now, up until that day I had never ERPed with him before. I knew that in real life he had a committed partner. We had all chatted over voice chat/headsets and I felt comfortable. So there wasn’t any “red flags” to deter me from otherwise ERPing.

When you engage in erotic roleplay there are things that you begin to feel and sense even through a computer screen. You learn what fetishes and kinks people are into, as they often weave them into a scene. You figure out quickly if someone has had sexual experience (or not) based upon their ability to paint a vivid picture with their words. Based upon all of these cues, I knew that The Hunter had enough sexual experience and “kinky-ness”, if you will, to make a fun ERP scene with me.

So we dove in together.

It was late at night and we were both typing away. Our words created imagery that got us both into the moment. I could see and feel the scene in my mind’s eye. (Always a great start to any roleplay session). And then…. he sent me a private, out-of-character whisper.

The Hunter: Hey, I was wondering if we could incorporate my pet into the scene?

Me: Your lion?

The Hunter: Yeah, what do you think?

Me: Uh… how so?

The Hunter: Well, have you ever heard of Zoo-tube?

Me: Um… nope! One sec while I go Google it.

Big mistake.

Suddenly my screen was filled with XXX-rated videos of bestiality and the like. It didn’t take me but 20 seconds to go, “WHOA!” and click off of the site. I don’t kink-shame, but I do draw the line at illegal activities and/or kinks that harm other people, creatures, and things. So…. my Southern side came out a bit. You see, in the South we have a way of being sweet while still telling you that you’re bat-shit crazy.

Me: You know, I took a look at that site and I just don’t know that I understand where you’re comin’ from, so I’m not sure if I can weave your pet into the scene…

The Hunter: Well, at home me and my girlfriend incorporate our dog into the bedroom all the time. We put socks on his paws and–

And then I literally blocked his ass!


I know! Maybe it was petty, judgmental, or whatever but… EWWWW!!!! I just couldn’t even begin to roleplay something like that. Furries? Fine. Hentai? Sure! But Bestiality? Oh hell no!!!

So! That was my crazy moment with The Hunter. Needless to say, that was the last time we ever spoke (hehe!). Have you ever had a crazy moment online? Comment and let me know! I’d love to hear from you. ❤ I hope you all got a giggle out of this. Stay safe and healthy, smash that like button if you enjoyed this, and I will see you back here for the next topic!

Much love,

~Kitten xx


  1. Wow. I’ve ran into some weird requests back in the day (one was involving a mans car and i don’t shame either) but never any like that lol.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi San! Hehe the world of online role playing is so vast and varied that it’s difficult for anyone to completely know everything that’s out there. Sending you giant hugs and smiles! 🙂 I hope you have a beautiful day! xx

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Girl totally! Like I’m one seriously perverted freak at the best of times but even I have my limits. My dog often goes in the bedroom without much of a problem and we don’t worry much about it. He is, however, promptly evicted way, way before any boomies go down! Hehe xx

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Hehe he won’t though! He screams because he’s shut out of the bedroom when we’re in there and it’s like “gee thanks little dude, announce it to the world why don’t you?” 😂 xx

        Liked by 1 person

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