Sex in Little Space, Part 4: The Foreplay Dance


Good Afternoon Friends!

A very happy Monday to you! At this point I’m saying “Happy Monday” so that we know what day of the week it is (lol). If you’re like me right now then the days are completely blurred together. πŸ™‚ Nevertheless, today I’d like to dive into part 4 of the “Sex in Little Space” series! If you missed the previous three sections I encourage you to click on the series link and go give them a read.

Today we’re going to discuss foreplay and how to seduce your partner. Having been in self-isolation for a long, hot minute, I have had time to watch not one… two… but three trashy, reality TV shows. πŸ˜‰ I have witnessed couples try to seduce their partner with romantic dinners, walks on the beach, etc. The art of foreplay is like a dance. You set the stage for sex before jumping right in, and if you play your cards right… foreplay can be just as arousing and pleasurable as actual intercourse. Are you ready to explore this topic with me? Then, let’s dive in! ❀

I. Learn Your Partner’s Love Language (i.e. Flirt in a Way That They Will Respond):Β 

If you ever get the chance to read Dr. Gary Chapman’s book, “The Five Love Languages”, I highly recommend it. In his research, Dr. Chapman created five main categories that the vast majority of people fall into in regards to giving and receiving love from their partner. Most people gravitate towards one or more of these sections, but the message of his book is what makes it so profound, and what I’d like to focus on today. When you’re trying to seduce your submissive or dominant, do things that appeal to their natural love language.

The first love language that Dr. Chapman describes is, “Words of Affirmation”. Praise your partner and remind them how much they mean to you. If your partner’s love language revolves around words of affirmation, they will naturally open up and feel comforted and reassured by your praise.

The second love language is, “Acts of Service”. If your partner responds to acts of service, try going out of your way to do things to ease their day. For dominants this can mean preparing your Little’s lunch ahead of time, (and cutting it up into bite-sized pieces of food!), so that they don’t have to cook. Littles you can pick up a few extra chores that your dominant normally does. If you’re in a long distance Cg/l relationship, consider drawing your caregiver a pretty picture and dropping it in the mail to them.

The third love language is, “Receiving Gifts”. If your partner loves to get nice things from you, make it a point to set aside some money in the budget to buy them small gifts of appreciation. Buy a plushie for your Little just because! Purchase an item for your dominant that they have always wanted. There are plenty of Cg/l themed items on Amazon for you to explore with your partner. So, if your partner enjoys a simple, thoughtful gift… then have fun shopping and surprising them with the item!

The fourth love language is, “Quality Time”. No time is better than the present to spend quality time with your partner. Whether you’re video chatting regularly, or you’re nestled up in your dominant’s arms, quality time is especially important for every relationship. If you know that your partner views quality time as a way of demonstrating your love, give them a little more extra time together! They will cherish every moment and feel so appreciated and loved by you.

The fifth and final love language is, “Physical Touch”. (This is the primary love language of the Captain and I). If your partner describes themselves as a “touchy-feely person”, take note. What they are telling you is that physical touch is their primary love language. They need regular physical touch from you to feel loved. If this is true in your relationship, then make space and time to hold hands, cuddle, nap together, and enjoy the comfort of being pressed up to your partner.

II. Let Your Foreplay Be Sacred for Your Partner:Β 

For some people flirting comes naturally. They are expressive, warm, outgoing, and people can translate that warmth as flirting. It happens. However, I encourage you to flirt in a way that is sacred for your partner. When you’re texting your partner, pick emojis that are only for them. Save special pet names that you keep in your relationship. It’s great to be kind to everyone, but save the ” ❀ ❀ ❀ ” and XOXOXO for your boo. πŸ˜‰ They will be grateful that you do as it demonstrates the respect you have for your relationship.

Now I’d like to touch on clothing for a moment, and I know this topic can be controversial so bare with me. I’m all for expressing yourself (clothing-wise) however you see fit. Wear clothing that you and your dominant enjoy and agree upon together. That said, I recommend that you also consider covering up certain areas of your body that are for your dominant’s eyes only. Work together as a couple to agree upon what that looks like for you. The message you want to give to your partner is that your body is sacred ground and you are their submissive. Period. The actions that you take, the way you carry yourself, the things that you say and do, will all be a reflection of your dominant and your relationship. Wear that badge with pride and hold your head up as you march through life. Your partner will no doubt feel your love, loyalty, respect, and devotion.

III. Let Your Inhibitions Go to Seduce Your Partner:Β 

As you’re standing there in your onesie, or dress, or perhaps you’re absolutely naked, have confidence in yourself. Your dominant loves you. They love you! They want to be seduced by you. Likewise, your submissive wants you to give them tons of attention and love. It’s why you’re in a relationship together. You love spending time together! ❀ Dig deep and find that inner confidence. I encourage you to let go of any self-doubt or negative narrative that you have in your mind that you aren’t enough. It doesn’t matter if you’re 80 pounds or 500 pounds, if you want to seduce your partner… YOU CAN! You have it in you to be sexy! All you need to do is believe in yourself. And please don’t go down a bit of alcohol or smoke a joint to let your inhibitions go. Stay sober and in control of every moment. πŸ™‚ ❀

IV. What the Purpose of Seducing Your Partner Is, and Isn’t:Β 

I want to wrap up this post with giving you five “food for thought” points of what the purpose of seducing your partner is. I want you to think about why we seduce our partner in the first place. Why go to the extra lengths to connect with your partner? Why strive to have foreplay instead of jumping right into sex? Take some time to mull over these questions and these five points, and then discuss your thoughts with your partner. That said, here are five points to think about:

  • Seduction is meant to entice your partner in the bonds of a committed D/s relationship.
  • Seduction is meant to enhance an already loving, healthy relationship between you and your partner.
  • Seduction is meant for you to tap into your inner confidence and self-love, to express the most vulnerable parts of yourself to your partner.
  • Seduction is not meant for you to have to chase your partner for attention.
  • Seduction is not meant for you to keep your partner from “straying” or being unfaithful, from the commitment of your relationship.

Alright my friends, that’s it from me for this post. I hope you all enjoyed it. If you did, hit that like button and let me know. Smash that follow button if you’re new around here, and I will see you back here for the next topic!

Much love,

~Kitten xx


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