Good Evening Friends,
Not long ago I sat with The Captain discussing porn. We sat there sharing our thoughts over porn in general along with DDLG-themed porn. “It’s just not realistic!” I said to him, tossing up my hands. There is so much about the porn industry that people never know. Women look at adult film stars and long to have their bodies. Yet, labiaplasty has been on the rise (almost 70%!) annually since 2009. This is especially true for young women between 18-25 years old. They are getting plastic surgery to have what is dubbed, “a porn p****”. In other words, they are having a surgeon shave down the skin of their labia to have small, flat looking vaginal lips that replicates what people see in the porn industry. This concerns me.
No one needs to have labiaplasty purely for cosmetic reasons. There shouldn’t be an expectation of what a vagina should look like. Each vagina is unique to the body. Yet, there is this pervasive image when it comes to DDLG-themed porn that makes my skin crawl. Littles are portrayed as hyper-sexual, young girls who hump plushies and weigh 90 pounds soaking wet. If I’m being honest with you, I think that kind of porn can be damaging to our lifestyle. So, tonight we’re going to discuss what a realistic image of sex is in Little Space. I want to talk about how true Littles, who embrace this lifestyle daily, can approach sex just as they are. You don’t need surgery. You don’t need to shave off your pubic hair or bleach your anus. You don’t need to look like anyone else. Come as you are because that is enough. ❤ Are you ready? Then, let’s dive in!
I. Approach Your Partner with a Mindset of, “You Are Already Enough”:
Having a D/s relationship is a serious commitment akin to marriage. There is power exchanged between two partners. Intimate, deep conversations are had and both parties make themselves vulnerable to allow the fluid exchange of feelings and guidance to occur. In sum, it’s a lot! But, it’s also deeply rewarding. Weaving sex into any relationship is a big step. It’s a serious decision that should never be taken lightly. As you and your partner choose to bind yourselves to each other sexually, I encourage you to view your partner as already being enough in your eyes. As Littles we can often come into Cg/l relationships with pre-conceived notions. We are taught that our partners are to be akin to Prince Charming + Superman put together. But, no one is like that! Let go of the laundry list of things your partner should be, needs to be, or has to be, and embrace who they are right here in this moment.
Binding yourself to your dominant is a deep commitment and one that you should never take lightly. Enter that space with kindness. Accept your partner for who they are and as they are. Tell your partner that you accept all of them. You accept every perceived “flaw” on their physical form, and how they are as a person. You embrace it all because each relationship and connection is a journey. You two will have plenty of time to walk through life together molding and shaping each other. But entering your sexual space, tell your partner that they are enough. Give them reassurance because even the most confident dominants need to be told that they are loved, cherished, and accepted on every level.
II. A Horny Little Doesn’t Need to Be Hyper-sexual:
I sat with my notebook thinking about a smooth way to discuss libido here in this post. My pen drummed against the paper. But alas, I came up with nothing so I’m just going to say it: littles don’t need to be horny all the time! You can have a high libido and that’s okay. You can have a low libido and that’s okay. You can be asexual and that’s okay. Cg/l themed porn portrays Littles as hyper-sexual beings that are yearning to get off. But guess what, my friends? It’s an illusion. Porn is simply a form of entertainment. That legal adult that you see bouncing and humping a plushie… likely isn’t a real little, and they are acting that way in the video to try and get views, so that they can get paid at the end of the day. It’s a job plain and simple.
Real littles are like everyone else. There are days when we are aroused and days where we need personal space. In short, we’re normal people! 🙂 I once had a friend discuss the shame that they felt for wanting to slip into little space whenever they felt aroused. They were worried that their partner would find their behavior “weird” or “disturbing”. We discussed at length how everyone expresses their urges differently. If you’re a Little who regresses when aroused, that’s fine! There’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, there are tons of people just like you in our community who do so. Other littles prefer to be guided into the mindset with their partner before they begin to engage in play. Do what feels comfortable for you, and never be ashamed to be who you are and how you are.
III. Make Modifications as Needed to Achieve Success:
In previous posts I’ve discussed making modifications for various submissive positions. Tonight I’d like to elaborate on ways that you can help your Little if they need assistance in some areas. As the dominant, you will want to make your Little as comfortable as possible during a sexual play session to have the best experience possible. As such, consider bringing in toys, furniture, and other items to ensure your Little’s level of comfort. If your Little has a difficult time moving into various sexual positions, consider purchasing a yoga block, yoga strap, or wedge pillow that will assist their body to move into the positions with greater ease. There are also very inexpensive sex support slings to help keep your Little’s legs apart without fatiguing their muscles.
Focus on what your partner can do versus what they can’t. Sometimes a little gentle stretching before foreplay will help loosen up muscles and joints to give your partner a greater range of motion. (You can weave some sensual massage into your stretching too!). If your partner has a difficult time getting down on the floor, try using a kneeling chair. They will be lower to the ground but comfortable enough to happily enjoy giving fellatio. Lastly, know that if there is a will to get into a certain sex position with your partner… then there is a way! There are plenty of portable sex chairs to use in bed to allow your partner to be on top, or yoga swings that will suspend your partner while giving them the support and comfort they need as you two are intimate together.
IV. Find Your Flow with Your Partner:
If you take nothing else away from this post, then please remember this: there is no such thing as “normal” Cg/l sex. Your sexual play with your partner should look like however you wish it to be. Sex is sacred, loving, fulfilling, fun, and pleasurable. Let your play sessions reflect the Cg/l couple that you are, not what anyone else is doing. Incorporate items that make sex feel good and that help you move and shift with attention to your physical limitations. No one expects you to stand on your head to be intimate. 😉 Do what feels right for your body because when you’re comfortable, your partner will be able to enjoy themselves too. Finally, develop a rhythm and flow of how much sex and intimacy you need in your D/s relationship. Every couple is different. There is no benchmark to meet. There is no standard amount of weekly sex that you need to achieve. Just give and receive love with your partner as it feels right to you both. ❤
Alright my friends, that’s it from me for this post. I hope you all enjoyed it. If you did, hit that like button and let me know. Smash that follow button if you’re new around here, and I will see you back here for the next topic!