Sometimes You Just Can’t Dominate [Reflections]



Good Morning Friends!

We’re kicking off a new week, and today I want to write about an experience that the Captain and I have been discussing lately: sometimes… your dom just can’t dominate! It’s Spring here on the farm and that means that the Captain is suffering from allergies… a lot! Yes, my dear husband suffers from seasonal allergies like many of you out there. He takes his daily medication, but still he’s sniffling, putting in eye drops, and blowing his nose akin to having a cold. It’s rough.

**If you missed reading the “Sometimes I Just Can’t Be Little” post, click here.**

Just the other day I was feeling especially Little. I felt playful and wanted my Daddy to interact with me deep in the head-space. But one look at my husband and I knew there was no way that he was in the mood to feel playful. He was just trying to get through 30 minutes without feeling congested! It made me reflect on how much pressure dominants endure in a D/s relationship. You’re expected to be “on” quite a bit. While there are many dynamics where the play sessions are scheduled, and therefore both parties can plan when they need to be “on”, if you’re living the lifestyle 24/7 it isn’t like that. Personally, the Captain and I slip in and out of the head space throughout each and every day. We don’t plan our play sessions so much as they happen spontaneously here and there.

So, when I saw my husband unable to be in dom-mode I felt empathy and compassion. Though I wanted to be connected to him in our D/s roles, it was time that I shifted gears a bit. I realized in that moment that I had a choice: I could feel down about the loss of not being able to have my Daddy when I wanted, or I could nurse my Daddy through his allergy symptoms with a tender, (and Little!) hand. I chose the later. ❀

Suddenly I became the most playful, happy nurse he had ever seen. I giggled smearing a bit of Vicks vapor rub on the bottom of his nose. πŸ™‚ We hopped in the shower together and this time I was the one sculpting his hair into funny looks, while washing away all of the pollen on his skin. It wasn’t a shift in power so much as it was a moment to give service without a lot of guidance.

Which brings me to the point of today’s post. πŸ™‚ Sometimes your dominant won’t be able to dominate… and that’s okay!

Use those few, rare moments as an opportunity to further demonstrate your love, loyalty, and service. Care for your dominant in every capacity as they need. If your dom is having an “off day” and they need to just vent things out, be there. If they feel ill, help nurse them back to health. This time of caring for my husband not only reflects our vows of “in sickness and in health”, but it also reflects my love for him as my Daddy, my partner, and my very best friend.

I know this post is short and sweet, but I just wanted to pass my thoughts along and hope that they give you some food for thought and a smile. I hope you all have a beautiful start to the week, and I will see you back here for the final installment of the “Sex in Little Space” series. Don’t forget to hit that like button if you enjoyed this post, smash that follow button if you’re new around here, and I will see you back here for the next topic!

Much love,

~Kitten xx


  1. Pennnnnnnny this is beautiful :))))))
    Be that sub that is able to chamelon her way into everyday life with her Daddy! Besides, roleplay, acting, and the like are all about innovation and improvisation. I believe you inspired us all here to think a little outside the box and tailor the little/Dom life to our real-lived experiences ^^

    We can’t always be that sexy couple with no other cares in the world! Im still navigating the type of littlespace I want to be in with my Daddy, too! It can get kindof discouraging when I literally don’t know what to do to stay in character or when I really dont feel like doing it outright. I really have to find a way to finesse this lifestyle and make it my own ^^ It really feels like work just to be a little or a dom!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Kuudere!!! You are just the sweetest! ❀ Thank you for such a beautiful comment, my friend. πŸ™‚ You know, being a Little or a Dom is no easy feat. This lifestyle is a journey that we're all taking to discover more about ourselves. I think you're doing a fabulous job. You are one of the most real, authentic, kind people I know. Never change! ❀ Big hugs to you, girly! xx

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’ve gotten a great PC and it can run Ark: Survival and Monster Hunter, btw. Decided to invest in it because quarantine. Um I also play Black Desert if you’re into mmorpgs. I also can probably try final fantasy again ^^ πŸ’œπŸ§‘πŸ’œπŸ§‘πŸ’œ

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Oooo kuudere! You just made MY heart sing!! ❀ ❀ Congrats on the new PC, my friend! That's so exciting!! Absolutely I'd love to game with you! I'll send you an email and we'll connect online for sure. xx
        PS- FF14 is soooo much fun!! ❀ Hehe


      3. πŸ€— you’ll make it even more fun I’m sure! πŸ€— Singing hearts! Better than lonely quarantine hearts. Oh, speaking of…how is it affecting you?

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Oh girl… the boredom struggle is REAL over here! hehe! ❀ But, despite feeling couped up to no end… we're staying inside and are healthy (thank God). Gaming helps. Movies helps. Playing with Cosmos helps. I just take it one day at a time and pray for the day when all this s*** is behind us. How are you doing over there, my friend? ❀ xx

        Liked by 1 person

  2. So, so relatable girly! We’ve had sessions where neither of us could go ahead because of mental health issues and we’ve had days (*cough* yesterday *cough*) where the stars have aligned. I think, as you will surely know, 24/7 really never is 24/7 when you’re married, it’s more like 2/3, with other random, seemingly vanilla bits in between! Be it hugs or handkerchiefs, you got this πŸ™‚ xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hehe so well said, Helen! πŸ™‚ That’s exactly what it’s like being D/s and being married lol. I’m glad you two are staying “connected” and are doing well over there! πŸ˜‰ ❀ xx


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