Good Afternoon Friends!
A very happy Hump Day to you! I hope this week is treating you kindly, and you’re staying active and relaxed. As we press on through week 8 of self-isolation, around here things have been getting interesting. Extended family of mine has been tested for COVID-19 and we are awaiting the results. Life has been a blur, so you have my apologies for the disruption in daily posts. ❤ However, today I’d like to wrap up the “Sex in Little Space” series. In this final post, I want to discuss how a realistic body looks. I want to tear down the misconceptions of what a Little “should” look like, and discuss how we really are. Are you ready? Then, let’s dive in. 🙂
I. The Story of Big Ed and Rose:
If you’ve been following my blog for a while, then you know that I’m a bit of a reality TV junkie. I know I shouldn’t tune into the drama, but sometimes it’s hard to look away from people that are absolute train wrecks! Take the case of Big Ed and Rose from “90 Day Fiance: Before the 90 Days”. Big Ed is 54 years old and hails from San Diego, California. Rose is 23 years old from Caloocan, Philippines. At first fans of the show slammed her for wanting a “meal ticket” to the United States to get a better life for her and her son, as she comes from an extremely poor region of the Philippines. But as the show has gone on, fans have completely turned against Big Ed. Why? From the moment he met Rose in person, he began criticizing her body about how she should look, versus accepting how things are.
It began with him telling her that she needed to shave her legs. “I noticed that your legs are really hairy” he said in a rather blunt tone, “and I was wondering if you would shave them?”. Then, in another episode he went out and purchased mouthwash, a toothbrush, and toothpaste to give her as a “gift”. Needless to say, Rose was very embarrassed and taken aback because she had to disclose to him that her bad breath actually comes from a stomach ulcer that she has, given that she is so poor and usually cannot eat three meals a day. Then Ed criticized her family’s shanty-like home and told her that he couldn’t stay there with her family because of the living conditions being so bad.
My point in sharing this example is to never come at your partner with the motive of trying to change them. If your submissive comes to you and wants to change an aspect about themselves, great. Guide them through baby steps that will lead them to their goal. But never go picking apart things that you don’t like about your partner in an effort to make them more appealing to you. Either accept them as-is or don’t be with them, because tearing down your partner can be deeply, emotionally damaging to their mental health.
II. Embrace the Asymmetrical, Different, and Unique:
I’m going to go ahead and say it: ladies, your boobs do not have to be perfectly symmetrical. In fact, most are not! Nipples don’t all have to be tiny, perky, pink little buds. A vagina doesn’t have to be flat and smooth with little to no “lips” showing. Penises don’t have to be giant and flaccid like a elephant’s trunk. Bodies are different, unique and complex. I remember my first partner had a mole on his arm with 5 long hairs sticking out like a tiny bush. He hated it and I could understand why. But I assured him that his mole doesn’t define his look as a man. Whether you’re rocking tiger stretch marks, or you have a toned stomach, your body is unique to you. Never judge anyone for the way they look.
Will there be people that you’re not sexually attracted to? Of course, and that’s fine. But those people that you’re not attracted to sexually are the people that can also be a good friend. They might be the nicest person in the world if only you give them a chance to show who they are inside.
Pro Tip: Whether you’re looking for your D/s partner, or you’re in a committed relationship, accept your partner for all of their quirks inside and out.
III. If Your Partner Cuts You Down, the Problem is Really Them:
Every couple gets in arguments. That’s normal and it happens. But in this section I want to talk directly to all of you out there in relationships where you’re constantly wondering, “what did I do to piss off my partner, again??”. I want to discuss the relationships that are unhealthy, toxic, and exhausting. I’ve had past relationships where I felt like every day was a struggle. I want you to know that if you’re in a relationship, (D/s or otherwise), and you’re struggling just to keep the peace with your partner… your partner’s anger is not about you. The way they talk down to you isn’t about you, it’s about them. Your partner is likely going through their own internal battles that are coming out when they lash out at you. Is it healthy behavior? No. Is it sustainable for the relationship? No. But I hope that you protect yourself body, mind, and soul to know that you don’t deserve to be emotionally cut down. You are worthy of being in a healthy relationship with someone who is able to control their emotions. You are worthy of living a life that is calm, quiet, and peaceful.
If you’re struggling or are living in an abusive relationship, and you’re in the United States please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline <3. We’re all here for you!
IV. Remember the Commitment You Made with Your Partner:
Just the other day I was reflecting on the marital vows I said to my husband on our wedding day. We wrote our own vows, but ours mirrored the similar vows that many couples take. We promised to love, honor, and cherish each other always. We promised to remain with each other through sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, until death do us part. I smile typing those words here because over the past 7 years he and I have seen many up’s and downs that has held us accountable to our vows. However, when we took our marital vows to each other we weren’t in the BDSM lifestyle. So, if/when my husband and I decide to renew our vows they would probably sound something like this:
Daddy ❤ :
I promise to remain faithful, loving, and in service to you as my husband and my Dominant.
I promise to cherish you fully, accepting all of you as we both grow old together.
I promise to laugh at the stupid mistakes we make, and to always remain your best friend through life.
I promise to nestle into your neck, and to spoon you so that we can fall asleep.
I promise to listen to you with a silent and open mind when you have something to share, and to be patient when a disagreement occurs.
I promise to kneel at your feet, pledging myself to you (and you alone) as your submissive.
I promise to enjoy the transformation of our sex life as we grow, age, and enjoy life together.
I promise to have your back against the world, and to be honest with you before you make a big mistake.
Forever and always we’re bad boys for life.
Kitten Kaboodle xoxoxo
As I wrap up this post, I encourage you to remember the commitment you made with your partner. Remember why you first fell in love with them. Remember what attracted you. Remember the good times, and work on the issues in your relationship. Focus on the core of your bond and foster patience for one another.
Alright my friends, that’s it from me for this post. I hope you all enjoyed it. If you did, hit that like button and let me know. Smash that follow button if you’re new around here and I will see you back here for the next topic!