Countdown to Halloween, Day 1: Drink Apple Cider

Good Afternoon Friends! 

I hope you all are having a good day. I promised myself that as we enter this next series, “The 61 Day Countdown to Halloween” that I would use this space as more of a journal for my submissive journey. I would pen down my wants, needs, desires, and innermost thoughts. I would abandon all structure and formal topics and simply… write. That said, I am doing this countdown because, well, Fall is awesome and I hope that even though we are in a pandemic… we can still bring cozy, warm, feelings into everyone’s home. Let’s do these countdown activities together, okay? 

If you’re on my Discord server, The Berry Patch, then you’ll notice that our members are snapping photos of the completed Halloween-y events daily and posting them in The Event Room chat channel. 🙂 I hope you join in! ❤ 

The Fall holds such significance for me. It’s my birthday season. It’s the time when the weather begins to cool. The world begins to quiet, and all of the leaves begin to turn shades of red, yellow, and brown. They slowly wither and fall to the ground. Over time, they will nurture the ground and give minerals for new life to spring forth. My journey as a submissive feels like Fall right now. 

I have grown so much over the past 5 years. I have educated myself (and continue to do so). I have connected with some incredible people in the lifestyle that are dear friends of mine. I have made connections that has etched their name on my heart. I have experimented with kinks and fetishes to test my own limits. And I have pushed myself mentally into places I thought I could never go. 

But like every plant has a cycle, so too, do I have a cycle with my submission. I have stepped back from being owned and claimed. I have taken this season as a time of “singleness” and a time for introspection. And I realize…. that I have a mouth on me. Oh yes, Penny Berry has quite the outspoken tongue! You see, since the pandemic hit my needs as a submissive have changed. I don’t have the time to slip into Little Space like I once could. Between helping my child with her online schooling, keeping the house running, etc. my brain is racing from sun up to sun down. I don’t slam the pause button to regress because many times there just isn’t time! 

But I always feel like a submissive. 

My submission has always been rooted in a place of deep respect, and a love to serve others. I have discovered immense joy at hosting events on Discord and making new friends. I have found joy, love, and inner peace at connecting with people that I truly want to walk through life with. Yet, in this season… I’ve begun to speak up more. I take an active role in almost everything that I do, and my opinion is at the forefront of many decisions made. I’ve always been a natural-born leader. (I like that about myself). 

But it conflicts with the inner desires of my heart. For a while now I have longed to have an M/s relationship. I have yearned to slip into a role of consensual slavery and obey with silence and obedience. I have craved to be used the way my Master would see fit! And yet, I just… have… a mouth! Does that mean that I’m not cut out to be a slave? I’m not sure. Does it mean that I should give up learning and exploring the M/s dynamic? I don’t think so. Knowledge is power and I’m not really a quitter. 

But I do know that my tongue will likely get me in trouble if I enter an M/s relationship. (Who knows? Maybe that’s just what I need! lol). For now, I’m a solo/ hybrid Little. There are parts of me that are tender and vulnerable. I am playful and still a Disney-addict. 🙂 I love snuggles, stickers, and reading picture books. I love goldfish snacks and cheez-its. Pretty sippy cups make me smile, and I still sleep with my plushie, Mutsy. 

Life is a journey, and I’m going to soak up as much as I possibly can. That, I’ll drink to. ❤ Have a beautiful day, friends. xx 

Much love,

~Penny xx 

Apple Cider!


  1. Maybe you will get into trouble, who knows and why does it matter? Those who know you, who care about you and embrace you, will also love and accept that about you. I got myself in serious trouble last week (Wolfie dropped his water bottle before a scene, it made a pitiful sound and I burst out laughing!) but you know what? He wouldn’t change a hair on my head. Maybe M/s isn’t for you, but strict scenes might be your thing? It’s fine to only want intense for an hour or two at a time with a more background level of submission in between times, it happens for a lot of us! Whatever feels right is right for you. Keep talking, keep negotiating, keep writingha, tt’s what really matters chicka 🙂 xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Excellent points, girly! 😀 This M/s journey is going to be a slow road, but I’m excited to explore and try. I’m not sure if it’s for me. But I think I’m just keeping my mind focused on being my most authentic self each step of the way no matter what emotions bubble up. Thank you for all of your love and support. It means a lot! 🙂 Big hugs! xx

      Liked by 1 person

      1. GIrl I’ve been through them, and you know what? I just lander back on generic D/s. Why? Because it works, you stop asking yourself what should and shouldn’t be, what is and what is not. Try things out, enjoy the journey and see what works for you. Above all else, relax, make a little note of what works for you both, and have fun 🙂 xx

        Liked by 1 person

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