DDLG F.A.Q.’s

Question #1: Is DDLG Legal? 

Yes! DDLG is legal when the relationship involves two legal adults. Please note that the legal age of consent does vary between different US states, so be sure to check this reference to know the laws where you live. Here is the legal age of consent if you live in Europe. Here is the legal age of consent worldwide. Now that we got the legal part out of the way, it is important for me to say that just because someone is of legal age to enter into a Dd/lg relationship, doesn’t mean they should. Being in a D/s relationship is a serious undertaking that involves a power dynamic. It takes maturity, trust, loyalty, understanding, patience, and a boatload of communication to make it work. So please use discretion when entering into a D/s bond.

Question #2: How long should a dom and sub wait before having their first play session? 

This is a great question, and obviously the answer will vary from person to person. So I will simply answer from my own experiences. Daddy C and I wanted about 3 months before we had our first play session. Cappy and I waited about the same. The key is that you want to know your partner intimately, understanding their emotions, background history, likes/dislikes, kinks, fetishes, desires, turn off’s, etc. well before you ever touch each other. You also want to adhere to the four basic steps for a healthy play session, which include: communication and consent, play, aftercare, and debriefing/feedback. I cannot stress this enough because you want to reach a level where you’re both comfortable telling each other anything and everything before you engage in play.

Question #3: Do you support minors in kink? 

No, I do not. I believe that the law is there for a reason and I am always one to follow the letter of the law. Furthermore, I believe that adolescence is a time of self-discovery. You are supposed to be experimenting with your image, desires, and thinking about potential career paths while you’re a teen. By nature your behavior is slightly more risk-taking, and you feel adventurous. As such, adolescence isn’t the time to enter into a D/s relationship and settle down. And I certainly don’t think teenagers should be having sex before they are emotionally mature enough to handle such a life-changing decision.

Question #4: Is there an Anti-Ddlg Movement? 

Sadly, yes there is. It is rooted in people who are closed minded to the truth of what our community is really about. This is why I’ve written in my books and here on my blog that Dd/lg has never been, nor will ever be, about actual children! Dd/lg involves two legal adults, one of whom assumes the role of submissive, and who regresses in age to imitate a child for sexual and/or non-sexual reasons. The dominant is not attracted to actual children! The Daddy or Mommy Dom simply thrives and gains pleasure from caring for their adult Little.

Question #5: What are the different types of submissives? 

Here are the major subpaths of submission:

  • General submissives
  • Voluntary Slavery
  • Pleasure Slaves
  • Kajira
  • Ponygirls/Ponyboys
  • Pets
  • Furries
  • Taken-In-Hand
  • Domestic Servant
  • Littles, Middles, and Adult Babies
  • Masochists/ Pain Pig

Question #6: Should drugs and alcohol ever enter into a play session? 

No! Please do not mix drugs and alcohol into a play session. Admittedly, I’m very straight laced. I don’t do drugs, smoke, or even drink alcohol. However, that said, the reason why I don’t think the two should mix is because of the lack of impairment. The dominant must be in control at all times and be of a sound mind and judgment. You can’t take care of your submissive if you’re impaired. Also, 100% sober consent must be granted from both parties prior to engaging in play. You should never take advantage of a submissive who has impaired judgment by trying to get their consent while under the influence of drugs or alcohol. This is rape!

Question #7: How do you make a D/s relationship last? 

Great question! I actually wrote a blog series all about what factors need to be in place in the foundation of a D/s relationship for it to thrive and last. But some of the basic things needed to make a relationship thrive include:

  • Having a strong sense of self before you come together as a couple
  • Having a clear vision of what you want from a D/s relationship
  • Understanding the laws of attraction (and attracting the kind of partner you want!)
  • Navigating through conflict and disagreements
  • And discussing your needs and wants (both sexually and not!)

Question #8: Where can I find a Daddy or Mommy Dominant? 

I know this might sound corny, but from my experiences the best blessings in life come when we aren’t looking for them. Can you look for a Mommy or Daddy Dom? Of course. Will you be successful? You might! And there are some great forums and websites available to get you started by connecting to the larger Cg/l Community. However, I would encourage you to proceed with caution. Don’t jump into a D/s relationship too quick before you really know someone. Take your time and ask plenty of questions. It’s okay to be picky with whom you choose as a partner! Remember, you deserve only the best.

Question #9: Why do some Littles get bad at other Littles online? 

I’m going to assume this question is in reference to the great divide of kink vs. AgeRe, or NSFW vs. SFW Littles. I’ll break it down simply here. There are 2 main groups of Littles: those who identify to the Cg/l Community and those who do not. All of us regress in age. However, there are a bunch of us (myself included) who also want to enter Cg/l relationships. Then there are those who regress and do not want to have a D/s relationship. There is no right or wrong way. The issue is that very young Littles (think ages: 18-21) who are SFW or AgeRe Littles, often get highly irritated if they see something that is NSFW or mislabeled as a cross-hashtag. I’ve even gotten scolded a few times when I accidentally put #AgeRegression on my picture of the hello kitty cafe on Instagram! It’s not that they get angry over the image content. They get angry that the author of the post happens to be Cg/l instead of SFW, and quite frankly, that’s a little ridiculous in my opinion. I understand not wanting to see NSFW content, but don’t get mad at the users.

Question #10: Why is your name Penny Berry? 

Hehe, because it was my gamer/roleplaying name for quite a while! If you’re ever on Guild Wars 2 (Tarnished Coast) come say hi to me! I’m Minnie Zhang on there, a level 80 badass Thief with 2 ascended weapons. *winks* ❤

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